Silas Scrum and the Bat

Silas Scrum, the keeper of things, lived alone in a dark, dank, and cobweb-filled hole in the side of a tree. He liked it that way. While on his way to see the Lord Chamberlain, Silas encountered an odd creature sitting on an old tree stump. “Good morning, who are you, and what is your function?” asked Silas.

“My function is to sit here, and it is of no concern as to who I am,” said the beast, its tone defiant. Silas was taken aback by this obstinate creature and had to think momentarily.

“I am Silas Scrum, the keeper of things, and I have to record what everyone does in this realm so you can be properly taxed,” said the keeper.

“Taxed for sitting?” asked the creature.

“Well, there is no tax on sitting, but I am sure you are doing something that can be taxed,” said Silas.

“Perhaps you could tax a bat for taking space, for that is what I am, you baffoon,” said the bat.

“Oh,” said Silas, turning red, for he knew what a bat was. Silas remained quiet as he contemplated what to do next when suddenly he had an epiphany. “You are taking space, which is taxable,” grinned the keeper.

The bat glared at Silas and said, “Which space shall you tax?” Then he opened his wings and flew off into the distance.

“I suppose it is best not to record this thing, for it would be much too challenging to explain to the Lord Chamberlian,” said Silas, continuing his journey.