Silas Scrum and Will the Wisp

Once, not long ago, there lived a wee bit of a man in the hollow of a tree. You might even miss him staring out of his cubby hole as you passed.

Folks would say Will liked his solitude, and it was best not to horn in on his affairs if you knew what was good for you.

Silas Scrum was not known for doing things that were good for him. It was well known that Silas attracted trouble like ants to honey.

So it wasn’t surprising that when Silas came across Will sitting in his cubby hole, he was darn well going to put him in his book of things so the Lord Chamberlin could tax him properly.

“Who are you, and what is your function,” asked Silas, the keeper of things.

Will sat silent and gave an evil eye. “Excuse me, sir, but I am Silas Scrum, and I need to put you in my book of things to be taxed,” the keeper demanded.

“You ain’t putting me in no book, mister,” said Will.

“The Lord Chamberlin needs to tax everyone, and I can’t assign you a tax if I don’t know your function,” Silas stammered.

“Sitten,” said Will.

“Am I to understand your function is to sit?” enquired Silas.

“Sort’a looks that way,” replied the tiny man.

“Let’s see where I can put you in my book. Ah yes, here we go. I’ll mark you down as a bat,” said Silas proudly.

“Bat? You brainless ninny, I’m no night flier. Can’t you see for yourself? I have no wings,” snapped Will.

“The last thing that said his function was to sit was a bat, so I just thought you were the same,” said Silas.

“Aye, I see Lord Chamberlin has got the brightest working fer him now,” said Will.

Silas felt he was going nowhere mighty fast and felt it was time to move on to the next thing for his book.

“Good day, sir. I’ve put you down as a sitter and will tax you half a shilling for this function. In a year, I will return to collect the fee,” said the keeper of things, who bowed low and quickly moved on.

“If brains were black power, the twit ain’t got enough brains to blow his nose,” grumbled Will, returning to sitting in his hollow, which was Will the Wisp function.