Ravena’s Library

Entering the dimly lit room, you are met by a gaunt woman who sits at the information desk. Over her left shoulder rests a raven whose hallow eyes track you as you cross the room.

“Welcome. I see you have a return. Let me see your library card—expired, no less. And the book’s due date? That is expired as well. What shall we do?” said the librarian with an evil grin.

The woman reached into the desk drawer and produced a box containing pictured cards. Drawing out three, she placed them across her desk.

“Hmm, the first is the hangman, then mercy, and finally the death card. It seems I must punish you for your transgression,” said the librarian, peering over her spectacles.

“What shall we do, perhaps a lashing with the old mop? No, it’s too messy. Maybe a trip to the binding room and a quick press under the bookbinder?” said the woman, eyeing you.

“No, I’m afraid there is only one course of action I can take for such a blatant violation,” the librarian said sternly.

Sweat streams down your forehead as you prepare to hear your sentence for your child’s overdue Peter Rabbit picturebook.

“I’m afraid you have been dealt a bad hand. I sentence you to an hour of re-selfing in the romance section,” hissed the woman.

You clutch the coat rack as your legs grow weak. Nothing could have prepared you for such a horror.

Later, as you push the trolley loaded with Harlequin romances, the shame of your action becomes all too apparent when an older woman spits on your shoes as she shuffles past, muttering, “Late again, Mr. Dode, the nerve of some people.”

Your penance paid, you receive a new library card and a stern warning from the librarian: “Let’s not have any more of these shenanigans, Mr. Dode. We wouldn’t want it to reflect poorly on your family.”

Silently, you slip out the side entrance into the cool October night air. After suffering the librarian, the worst that could happen now is to be attacked by a werewolf or bitten by a vampire.