Folksburywoods Story Blog

Silas lived in a hole in a tree. It was nothing like the holes the little harried feet men lived in. The hole was dark, dank, and cobweb-filled. He lived there alone and liked it that way. Silas was a keeper of things.

Silas was on his way to enjoy a delicious slice of apple cake and cranberry tea at his favorite eatery when he stumbled upon several small creatures sitting on the side of the road.

“Hello. I am Silas Scrum, the keeper of things. What is your function? I need to note it in my book so the Lord Chamberlin can levy a tax on you,” said Silas.

All laughed and said, “Our function? We’ll show you.” Then, they vanished, leaving Silas perplexed about what to do next.

“I can not record what I do not know, so it’s off to tea and cake for me,” Silas said with a smile. The keeper of things made his way to the eatery and ordered his usual afternoon treat.

“Thank you, Miss Betty. It is always a pleasure to see you,” said Silas as the waitress brought his tea and cake.

Just as the keeper was about to take a bite of cake, his fork was snatched away. “What nonsense is this?” Silas asked.

The fork whirled around and pierced the apple cake. His teacup floated into the air and hovered above the table. “Am I going mad?” stuttered the keeper.

That’s when the giggles started. “Our function, Master Scrum, is to cause trouble wherever we go,” said a voice before him.

The beasties appeared before him. The one who had spoken blew smoke from his cigar, causing Silas to cough uncontrollably.

“Gremlins, I should have known,” said Silas, looking rather gloomy.

“So what is the tax for being a rabble-rouser Master Scrum?” asked the leader. Silas opened his book, flipped through the pages, and cleared his throat.

“The Lord Chamberlain proclaims that the tax for being a gremlin is,” Silas stopped before he stated the amount.

“Is what?” said all the beasties at once. Silas closed the book and stood.

“I am afraid you must wait for the answer, gentlemen. I must confer with my superior. Please enjoy the cake and tea until I return,” said Silas, who then paid and left.

The gremlins stood stunned. No one had ever offered them tea and cake. Happily, they devoured the sweet and guzzled the drink, then sat down to wait for the keeper’s return.

“Do you think it will take him long,” asked the smallest beastie.

“It takes as long as it takes,” said another.

“If there is one thing I know about gremlins, they will wait until the cows come home to learn their value. Too bad I will need to find a new eatery,” said Silas, wondering if they would still be there at the end of the world.