“Come, Erasmus, fly and see if the demons are up to their usual trickery,” said the Cadger as he made his way along the paved highway.
Rupert Turnsley was a repossessor of sorts. There are things Heaven and Hell don’t want mortals to know, and it’s Turnely’s job to see they stay hidden away.
“They get dumber every year at the pearly gates. Image sending a two-year-old to Hell for gangland killings. Crikey the lass could barely hold her bottle, let alone a three-five seven magnum,” remarked the Cadger.
The raven returned to inform the rider that the way was clear and that they should arrive at the gate of Hell within the hour. “That’s good, bird. Have a sit on my packs and rest up for the trip back,” said Rupert.
Due to the number of souls processed by the aging Saint Peter, sometimes a mistake is made, and an innocent is sent to Hell. “Jeepers is seems little Jimmy was not the Boston strangler. Better call the Cadger,” an Angel would say.
The Cadger is sent to fetch the soul and return the poor sap to heaven. He’s handsomely rewarded for his troubles, which is how he earned the nickname Cadger.
“Evening, Asmodeus, you’re looking chipper tonight,” said Rupert, removing his hat in respect.
“Go tell boss the Cadger is here for the tot,” instructed the demon to an imp. Asmodeus pulled the enormous chain, raising the gate to admit the traveler.
“Better watch your tongue, Cadger. The boss is in a snit over losing this one. It seems he’s fond of the little tyke,” warmed the demon.
The Cadger bowed as he entered the realm of Lucifer MorningStar, where he was met by an imp who conducted the man to the great hall.
“Well, here she is, Cadger,” snapped the devil.
“I am dreadfully sorry about this, your eminence. As you know, those fools upstairs are in charge,” said Rupert.
“Tell Peter the next time I’m going to keep it,” retorted Lucifer. He picked up the little girl, gave her a kiss and lolly, then gently placed her in the Cadger’s arms.
“Take care my little sweets, and remember what Uncle Louie said to you, and we’ll see each other soon,” said the devil.
Rupert turned and led his steed back to the gate and out of the devil’s realm. “That was uncomfortable, to say the least, didn’t you think, Erasmus?” asked the Cadger.
“Na, I have seen worse when my last boss had to return Lizzy Borden. It seems big G, and she hit it off famously,” replied the bird.
“Well, Lass time we got you home,” said Rupert as he climbed back atop his rupus and began the upward journey to the pearly gates.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t tell Peter what Lucifer said. No reason to stir the pot if you catch my drift,” the raven remarked.
“I think I’ll ask for a bonus because my eyebrows got scorched as Lucifer handed me the wee tyke,” said the Cadger, settling into his saddle for the journey upstairs.
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