Scared Straight

“Thomas Darby, I have come for you this night,” said the phantom.

Thomas fell to his knees and began to pray to the holy saints.

“I didn’t mean to take farmer Fitzgibbons’s milk. I was hungry and thought he wouldn’t mind,” said Thomas.

“Thomas Darby, you have spent your time on this earth getting the better of your fellow man. Now it’s time to pay the piper,” spoke the specter.

Thomas’s heart and mind raced. He tried to think of something to say that might let him slip through the hangman’s noose once again.

“I have only taken from those who could afford it, never robbed the poor, not once,” said Thomas.

The ghost was having none of it.

“Thomas Darby, you will come with me for judgment by Saint Peter this very night,” boomed the spector.

Thomas’s hands started shaking, and his throat went dry. “Please, kind spirit, I have one request to make before you take me,” pleaded Thomas.

The ghost stood silent for a moment, then said, “Say your peace so we can be on our way.”

“Well, I was thinking that going up to St. Peter would be a lot of rigamarole, so I wish to make a bargain.

“True, it’s a headache going through all the formalities,” said the phantom.

“If I were to go straight and be a good and kind person until my natural death. I’ll let you take me straight to Old Nick without objection,” said Thomas.

“Well, that seems reasonable, but if you should stray, I will be returning for you forthwith,” the ghost said.

Thomas bowed low and thanked the phantom. While walking home, the trickster began thinking about his bargain.

“I have always been kind when I relieve folks of their valuables,” said Thomas. “I say thank you and ask if you wouldn’t mind.”

After a bit, Thomas’s eyes lit up. He said, “I’m a good person. I help folks who have an overabundance of wealth by relieving them of their heavy load.”

Thomas straightened his frame and walked with an air of great importance down the lane.

“Let Old Nick wait, I’ll bargain with him when I’m through with this life,” said Thomas with a wry smile.

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