Coop Deluxe

“Welcome, my friends, to Coop Deluxe. At the Coop, we offer your hens the finest amenities to guarantee their stay is perfect,” said the manager.

I was hesitant to leave my prize hen for some much-needed R&R.

“I see you are having second thoughts about Coop Deluxe. Let me assure you…May I call you Bob? Well, Bob, we strive to offer the finest experience a hen can have at Coop Deluxe,” said the manager.

I asked him to give an example of the amenities he claimed to offer.

“But of course, Mr. Bob. Chef wakes early to mix the finest seeds and mullet for the morning meal. Using a touch of hemp seed, we ensure the hen’s day begins relaxed,” replied the manager.

I wanted to know more about the sleeping arrangements.

“The bedding is selected from choice alfalfa buds. They are tossed lightly and then mixed with rose petals,” the manager answered.

Finally, I asked about the water quality.

“Ah, I am glad you asked. You see, we at Coop Deluxe are very proud of our sparkling brook flowing past our establishment. The hens may bathe in its restorative properties if they wish,” said the manager.

My decision was clear: Henrietta would be going to Coop Deluxe for a week of rest.

“Wonderful to hear you decided to become a member of our family. Please come this way. We can complete the payment details. Your hen will meet the other guests,” the manager said.

On the drive home, I felt lucky to have found Coop Deluxe. In a world of dodgy marketing, true comfort was hard to find.

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