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Continue reading →: Beg Your Pardon“Young lady, one does not waltz into a dragon’s den. You cannot order him to go off and fight a bunch of smelly trolls,” said Albatross. Fern’s self-confidence plummeted. “I’m sorry, Mr. Dragon, sir. The matron ordered me to fetch you. She said I was to be strong. I must…
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Continue reading →: Coop Deluxe“Welcome, my friends, to Coop Deluxe. At the Coop, we offer your hens the finest amenities to guarantee their stay is perfect,” said the manager. I was hesitant to leave my prize hen for some much-needed R&R. “I see you are having second thoughts about Coop Deluxe. Let me assure…
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Continue reading →: Long Way Home“Get a move on, I’m getting cramps in my butt, you worthless beast of burden,” cried Clem. “I’m doing the best I can. It was you who got us lost, you lunkhead,” replied Elmer. Clem had known Elmer since they were both kids in Miss Turkay’s class in public school.…
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Continue reading →: Sky Gypsies“Should be docking in Territown by sundown,” said the captain. “There’s a thunderhead dead ahead. We should head south and overnight in Bartlesville,” said the cat. “Why do we always have to listen to him? The sky is clear. Get us to Territown. I have business with a certain someone,”…
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Continue reading →: A Summons“Why have you summoned me here?” said Glimdore. “Forgive me, a matter of great importance has come to my attention. I felt it could not wait until our usual appointment,” replied Ursula. “I see. I’m here now, out with your questions,” muttered the owl. The wise woman informed the guardian…
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Continue reading →: Sentinels“I can feel them, but I can not see them,” said Acropolis. “I sense their presence as well. Is it possible they are underground?, asked Markel. The sentinels scanned the horizon for the slightest movement, but none came. Do you think an Arrkon would lower itself? Would it crawl beneath…
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Continue reading →: Fern’s Delight“What a wonderful feeling,” said Fern as she rose from slumber. The Nelf had awoke early, knowing today was the fifth of Po and a day of celebration by her people. “I will visit the moonpool and dance for the goddess,” said the Nelf. Fern washed her face, drank some…
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Continue reading →: What Wonders Beheld“This is amazing, Pharleg,” Differ said to his repus. The two travelers had journeyed across the prime meridian to see the sights no other had. The wonders he beheld were beyond even the storyteller’s tales. “I wish the Grand Omba could see the size of these shroomies. He’ll never believe…
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Continue reading →: Just the Trick“I wonder if I added some ground caster seed if that would do the trick?” said Marcel. The young woman had decided to show all those fools down at the market that a woman could grow prize-winning veggies. “That’s the ticket!” cried Marcel one morning when she discovered her squash…
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Continue reading →: Gifting Twilight“Where is that bird? Doesn’t she know I have things to do before dawn?” said the vixen. The fox scanned the horizon until it saw a bright spec approaching. “Finally,” murmured the vixen. “I’m sorry, Galeena, for being so late. The Dark Ones were prowling again,” said the owl. “That…
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Continue reading →: Lost in the Woods“I’m not sure where we are, Dagoon,” said Aelfa. The Gelf had decided to visit the Old One’s shrine deep within the ancient forest. Her mother advised her to wait until spring when dark ones slept. Travel now might risk their wrath during the high autumn moon. “Mother was right.…
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Continue reading →: The Queen’s ThroneAlone in the forest sits a Queen on her throne. No one dares approach her for certain death awaits when she speaks. Those who seek her counsel scrawl notes on parchment and leave them near her throne. The Queen’s replies are written on the back and retrieved when she is…
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Continue reading →: QuiddlingQuiddling: Busying oneself with trivial tasks as a way of avoiding the important ones. “There you are, all spit and polish,” Anya said with a gleam in her eye. “Now on to clean the pantry,” said the woman. Anya had been married for 90 years when her husband died in…
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Continue reading →: Moon ManFairy tales and folk tales are fun stories we tell our children when we put them to sleep. But what if they weren’t all made up? Once, a very long time ago, a little boy was orphaned during the Crimean War. Hungry and cold, he stole what he could to…
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Continue reading →: Resting Place“What utter nonsense, Archimedes,” the explorer cried. “That’s what I heard when I was in the tomb,” replied the skull. Professor Windsworth had spent sixty years digging up rare artifacts when he wasn’t crawling into nasty-smelling holes. “That simply is impossible for the Eye of Anubis to be hidden behind…
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Continue reading →: Mogshade“I am pleased when you come to see Mogshade,” said the Dorik. “I’m glad my presence pleases you,” said Trillium. Mogshade was the last of his kind to live in the ancient forest’s deep-water springs. A thousand years ago, a warlord had placed a price of two kruteps of gold…
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Continue reading →: FoofarawFoofaraw (n) – A great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant. “Dang nabit, where are my socks, woman?” cried Angus. “Where you took them off, you lame brain,” retorted his wife. Angus and Lea had been married for over eighty years. In all that time, neither had spoken a…
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Continue reading →: Harey Business“Now see here, Glandor! I will not be threatened by an overgrown lizard even if you do have six-inch claws,” said Winslow the wizard. “Lizard! I should eat you for that insult, but I need your help,” said the dragon. “Well, all you had to do was ask. Next time,…
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Continue reading →: Farewell“Time is getting late, lads. I thought I ought to stop by and see you one last time. This is in case I don’t make it to the pearly gates,” said Henrick. The miner was the last of the gang of three. They were the best at what they did,…
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Continue reading →: Bring Me Pretties“You have come again. Did you bring Obeah pretties?” said the demon. “I have. This one is round and plump, just the way you like them. She was caught stealing candy, so she must pay the price,” I told the devil man. “Candy stealer, you say? She will do for…
Twisted Tales to Delight and Amaze
Christopher Johnson
Christopher is a retired professor of science and medical education and a children’s author living in Taiwan. He has over 30 years of experience working in higher education internationally. Originally from Huron, Ohio, in the United States, he spent his childhood playing in Lake Erie and Sawmill Creek.
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