Twisted Tales to Delight and Amaze

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Moonshine

Moonshine

“Well, hello, stranger. I see you’ve found the Sunshine Dispensary,” said the young lady as I approached the little shack.

A shady individual at a service station had directed me to this establishment.

“Hey, Mister, you look like you could use a pick-me-up,” said a tall man wearing broken glasses.

I indicated that I was passing through on my way to the big city and wanted no trouble.

“Shoot, Mister, we ain’t meaning to scare ya. I was talking about a nip of white lightning,” the second man said with a wink.

I had heard of this powerful intoxicant and thought it would be worth a try, so I asked how much for a small cup.

“Tain’t a cent for the first one,” said the tall man as he handed me a small glass of what appeared to be water.

The kick in that little glass of moonshine surprised me.

“What you want to do is turn your vehicle around and head to the first left. Follow that long road til it comes to a fork in the road. Take the left fork. Follow it until you dead-end at the Sunshine Dispensary,” instructed the partner.

Against my better judgment, I turned my automobile in the indicated direction.

A short time later, I arrived at my destination. The proprietors of the dispensary greeted me.

Gladys and her husband, Clem, offered to show me a large selection of refreshments.

“I’m kind of in a hurry, so if you don’t mind, could I have a small bottle of your moonshine?” I told the woman.

“Sure thing, Mister. Today’s buy-one-get-one-free. Clem will load it into your automobile. That will be ten dollars, please,” said Gladys.

Ten dollars for such a refreshing beverage was unbelievable. I thanked the couple and returned to my car.

“We’ll be seeing you soon,” hollered the woman as I drove off. I should have picked up on her certainty then, but with my mind on the drive back to the city, I failed to see it.

I sat on my penthouse balcony and enjoyed a small glass of Sunshine Despenery’s moonshine.

“Something is different about this batch I thought to myself. Wanting to confirm it, I kept pouring until I had consumed the entire jug.

I should have passed out drinking that much. Instead, I felt relaxed, almost euphoric.

Time to open the second jug. It was Saturday, and I could sleep in if needed.

When I awoke the following morning, I went straight for the jug to get a pick-me-up but found it empty.

I grabbed my keys and in less than an hour I was speeding down the highway toward the Sunshine Dispensary.

“Howdy, Mister, glad to see you this fine morning. What can I do for you?” asked the woman, smiling a great, toothy smile.

I ordered five more jugs, expecting the same buy-one-get-one-free deal. Gladys indicated it only applied to first-time purchases.

“That will be one hundred dollars, please,” said Gladys.

“One hundred? Yesterday it was ten for two,” I blurted out.

“Sure, but that was an introductory offer to our new customers. The regular price is twenty dollars a jug,” the lady said.

Clem stood waiting for me to pay before he put it in the car. I stepped back, looked at their smiling faces, and realized I had been hoodwinked.

“We appreciate your business, Mister. Hope to see you real soon,” Gladys said upon receiving the payment.

During the drive back, I fought the urge to open a jug. Being the businessman I was, I felt a trip to the chemist’s was in order. I wanted an analysis of what made the drink so compelling.

A week later I recieve the report. I am happy to inform you that the Tri-State Beverage Company is now offering Hollow Hills Punch.

We expect to triple our revenues this quarter.

I hope Gladys and Clem don’t get too angry. After all, it was a fair game. It’s just that this city fox outfoxed those country ones.

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One response to “Moonshine”

  1. Matthew J. Richardson Avatar

    There is such a beverage as White Lightning in Scotland, but I’m not sure it originates from Sunshine Despenery! Bravo as usual, Christopher!

    Liked by 1 person

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Christopher Johnson

Christopher is a retired professor of science and medical education and a children’s author living in Taiwan. He has over 30 years of experience working in higher education internationally. Originally from Huron, Ohio, in the United States, he spent his childhood playing in Lake Erie and Sawmill Creek.

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